Signs of Our Times

January 28, 2023

The weather has been rather cold and dreary in our part of Texas recently. Thankfully, we have not had to suffer through the ice storm that has frozen the northwestern half of the state. But it is cold, and wet, and gray, and I just love it. Well, up to a point… It’s not good weather for going out and exploring.

Kristi and I went to town for a short date and to pick up some groceries. Immediately after parking in front of the store we saw that the bank sign across the street had a bad light panel that resulted in some funny miswordings. Miswordings? I don’t know if that’s a real word. Perhaps it’s a miswording. Anyway, whatever it’s called, the intent was one thing but the result was something else.

They wished someone a hap birthday, which was nice.

HAP BIRTHDAY
HAP BIRTHDAY

Maybe that person would enjoy chilling it at the lodge.

CHILL IT THE LODGE
CHILL IT THE LODGE

They have chili. It’s apparently OK off and on.

CHILI OK OFF AND
CHILI OK OFF AND

If that’s not your interest, then the local pine club is putting something together:

FIR ASSEMBLY
FIR ASSEMBLY

It’s at one of those new battery-powered “E” churches, I guess.

OF E CHURCH
OF E CHURCH

I think it’s a Scottish denomination.

LADI 2023
LADI 2023

But they will provide lun, so you don’t need to worry about bringing your own if you don’t have the time.

LUN PROVIDED
LUN PROVIDED

While I was entertaining myself watching the bank sign, Kristi was doing actual work and picked up a cabbage. Yes, that’s all she bought. We were one ingredient short of having cabbage taco skillet for dinner the next day. Anyway, I got to thinking of all of the odd signs we’ve seen around town, so we drove around and photographed them to share with everyone.

Just to clarify, I’m poking fun at the signs, not the businesses, the people who run them, or the people who work there. A damaged or otherwise unusual sign posted in front of an establishment is not part of my criteria for whether to do business there. I mostly go by the smell of the employees.

Across the street from the bank is this sign on the side of a popular Tex-Mex restaurant:

Sign using a 'T' in place of an 'I' in 'Thirsty Thursday.'
The thirstier you are, the more likely you are to spot what they did here…

On the other side of town is this sign, which I think has been up for 25 or 30 years, at least. Over the decades I’ve watched it degrade into its present state. It used to advertise their service of installing woodgrain, leather seats, and boat interiors. Now, it features:

OODGPAIN
OODGPAIN

I don’t know what sort of pain “oodgpain” is, but at least I can partly comprehend it. This sign, however, is…a little more challenging:

Help wanted sign with a lot of missing letters.
HELP WA ED M HAN C

They’re obviously advertising for a mechanic, but it doesn’t make a good impression, as far as I’m concerned. And if you think the other side of the sign clarifies things, then you are sadly mistaken.

Incomprehensible sign outside of a business
Huh?

After all of that pain and car repair, it might be time for a snack. I don’t know what Cheese Dude and Steak are up to. Word arrangement is important.

CHEESE DUDE AND STEAK FINGER BACK
CHEESE DUDE AND STEAK FINGER BACK. Also, Ns are tricky…I get that.

I don’t know the story behind the sign below, but it’s 2023 now and it’s been up since at least 2019. I imagine that the lack of progress is due to the unfortunate events of 2020. I feel ya, folks. We all had plans back in those days.

Coming Fall 2019
Coming Fall 2019

Speaking of the past, let’s take a look at some signs from a few years back. I’ve posted these elsewhere, but they’re probably worth another look.

Are you feeling good, but would rather feel under the weather? Try out our Ils Spa. We’ll ill what cures ya!

Nail spa sign with dark 'n' and 'a'
ILS SPA

Maybe they’ll send in a prescription to our neighborhood harmacy.

DRIVE THRU HARMACY
DRIVE THRU HARMACY. This image was taken on an old Blackberry phone. I know it looks Photoshopped, but I promise that it was real!

The “E” in the exit sign of the harmacy was making an exit.

Exiting E
Exiting E

Feeling hungry again? Need a drink? Target’s got you covered.

Beer and Cereal on the same aisle at Target
Beer and Cereal

I’m glad this business clarified which meals are eligible for the “free saki” offer.

Free Saki (not for kid meal)
Sorry kids, no free saki for you!

Coming back to the present, I left the most perplexing sign for last.

WE AREB EN
What?

I hope you enjoyed this little adventure into the silly signage of our little town. Before I wrap up this post, though, I want to share the image below, which is not technically a sign. Or maybe it is. It is the result of a somewhat fortuitous alignment of a handrail’s shadow across a small set of steps. The shadows happened to order the steps from lowest to highest.

Handrail casts shadow on steps, making them appear to be numbered '1' and '2'
Step 1. Step 2. Our steps are numbered.

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