Four Years

March 14, 2022

Today marks four years since the wreck when we lost our younger son, Patrick.

For some reason this year has been more difficult than the past couple. I think that is in large part due to the fact that we have less to distract us from our thoughts. We try to stay busy, but nothing has been enough. Our little day trips help, but they are not always effective.

Today we visited Patrick’s gravesite. It’s a surreal experience to stand next to the site where one’s child is buried. We understand that his body is there, but Patrick, himself, is not. It feels like he’s with us, but it also feels like his life was just part of a dream. It’s difficult to explain, but for those of you who might have trouble relating with the experience, I hope that you never understand. It’s the worst feeling knowing that someone so dearly loved is never coming back.

We left the cemetery and decided that we didn’t want to go home, so we just drove around more-or-less randomly, following a route we’ve never driven before. It wasn’t anything especially interesting. We took a few pictures, but, frankly, my heart wasn’t into documenting. Maybe later in the week we will feel more like exploring.