Machete Man Adventure

June 19, 2021

Today’s adventure was full of surprises.

First, I had no idea where to go, so was sort of winging it. I saw a road on Google Maps that looked interesting and decided that we should follow it. Kristi didn’t object, and fully consented to ride along. I take no responsibility for what happened later.

The first leg began on Glendale Cemetery Road, just south of the community of Glendale in Trinity County on State Highway 94, which runs east of Trinity. Glendale Cemetery Road ends at Glendale Holly Road (which also connects to SH 94). Both roads are mostly dirt, and were very dusty despite recent rains.

A little way down Glendale Cemetery Road, we saw a compact pickup in the distance that was heading our way. It pulled over to the side, then, after a few moments, pulled back onto the road and then backed into a driveway that led into a pasture. No big deal, I thought. The driver probably pulled over so that we could pass, but decided that we were too far away and continued on his journey to what I presumed was his or her property.

We passed the driveway. Sitting in the pickup with the windows rolled down was a somewhat disheveled-looking guy. Frankly, he looked a little sketchy. Soon after we passed him, he began to follow us. Kristi and I got an uneasy feeling. I hoped that he would turn off onto the part of Glendale Holly Road that led to SH 94, but he continued following us past the intersection. Kristi and I joked that he was a serial killer and was stalking us, but the path that I took had fresh tracks from what I guessed was his vehicle. I reasoned that he was just going back to where he came from–maybe he forgot something.

He did follow us for a long time, though, even going past the point where the tracks appeared to end. (I wish I could remember exactly where that was, but I think I just came to the realization at some point that the tracks were no longer visible.) I was driving faster than I normally would, trying to put some distance between him and us. As a result, my truck was throwing up a lot of dust. I felt that he was following much more closely than I would, considering the thickness of the dust cloud and the fact that his windows were probably still rolled down. I kept losing sight of him in the dust, but would catch a glimpse as we went around curves.

We came to the bridge that runs over Little White Rock Creek. It looked like a very interesting place to stop and explore, but the Sketchy Serial Killer Man was still following us; so, we kept going. This is an important point to remember for later…

He eventually stopped or turned off somewhere between the creek and the point where Glendale Holly makes a 90-degree turn to the right. I quipped that we had demonstrated a greater desire to live than his desire to kill.

Glendale Holly Road ends at FM 1280. This road is familiar to us. We once considered buying a house in that area many years ago. The road runs east from Lovelady and ends at U.S. Route 287, just south of Pennington.

We headed west, towards Lovelady, then took a brief detour down Holly Cemetery Road. We didn’t see a cemetery, but we did see the Holly Community Center. It seemed strange to find such a building in that location, but I suppose there was a thriving community in that area once-upon-a-time.

We turned back and crossed over FM 1280 onto Houston County Road 4250. This is where things started getting interesting. CR 4250 intersects with CR 4200, also known as Fodice (pronounced Fo-dice) Road.

I thought this was a funny name for a forest management company.

We drove, drove, drove, then came around a turn and WHOA! There was a huge stone building! A historical marker along the roadside described it as Fodice Community School. According to the Handbook of Texas, Fodice was/is a farming community. The school was built in the 1880s. Students were transferred to other local schools in 1960, and the building served as a community center until at least 1997. Sadly, it is in ruins today, but it is still spectacular!

A short distance from the school are the remains of the Mount Pleasant Christian Methodist Episcopal Church. It was an African American church that appears to have been active as recently as the mid-1990s, but lies abandoned now. We were sad to see the church unused and left in its present state.

CR 4200 ended at U.S. 287, just north of Pennington. We stopped at the Spitfire Convenience Store & Grill for lunch. It’s not a fancy place, but the food was terrific! The staff are very friendly. We enjoyed listening to the locals talk.

Kristi and I decided that we wanted to return home via Glendale Holly Road to enjoy the scenery that we missed the first time through, and to explore that interesting bridge over Little White Rock Creek. From Pennington, we took FM 2781 back to FM 1280–all paved roads, but very pretty scenery. We took a little detour onto Zion Hill Cemetery Road, which circles around to Glendale Holly. When we saw Zion Hill Church and the well-kept little cemetery next to it, we realized that we had visited that spot on a previous adventure!

Eventually, we made our way back to the bridge. It is a really interesting site. The remains of an older bridge, which currently only spans about half of the creek, run parallel to the current bridge.

After taking several photos and exploring the areas on either side, I noticed that Kristi was heading back to the truck. I figured that was my cue to head back, as well. (Later, I found out that she had suddenly gotten an uneasy feeling and a desire to leave quickly.)

Upon my return, we continued our journey home. A couple of minutes after leaving the bridge, though…THERE HE WAS! The Sketchy Serial Killer Man had parked his truck on the side of the road and was walking aimlessly around nearby with–I kid you not–A MACHETE.

For those of you who don’t know what a machete (pronounced muh-shet-ee) is, it is like a sword, except that it is intended for cutting down plants and small tree limbs and not so much for being slashy slashy with people.

He waved at us as we passed, apparently. Kristi told me that. I was too focused on the machete and where he was walking. He didn’t make any threatening moves as far as I could tell, but that guy went from being Sketchy to Sketchy Plus in our book.

We later checked the dashcam, but due to the contrast between the shadows where he was walking and the sunlit road, it was difficult to find a frame where he was visible. The best frame I could find was on the lower-resolution rear camera.

Image taken from my rear dash cam of Machete Man (formerly known as Sketchy Serial Killer Man). He is facing away from the camera. The item pointing down in his right hand is the machete.

We proceeded to the Dairy Queen in Trinity for a quick snack and to try to figure out what that guy might have been up to. Our theories included:

  • He was out killing snakes. Only, there were no houses or other signs of habitation anywhere near him.
  • He was waiting for someone else who was sketchy, and carried the machete to show that he meant business.
  • The Second Amendment means that he is under no obligation to tell anyone why he’s carrying a weapon. (Does the SA cover bladed weapons?)
  • Ki ki ki ma ma ma, teenagers beware!

Keep in mind, as I pointed out earlier, that he followed us to the OTHER side of the bridge. So, was he actually following us? Or, did he conduct perfectly innocent business on the other side of the bridge and then move to conduct more innocent business at a new location by the time we returned?

I doubt that we will ever know.

Looking back on this day (I’m writing this post months after the fact), Machete Man has become something of a Legend with Kristi and me. At the beginning of nearly every journey we wonder whether we will meet him, or one of his ilk, along the side of the road. Seriously, it’s a frightening prospect. But, so far it has not discouraged us. Our Worst Day is already behind us.

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